He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
