I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
