Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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