I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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