in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
