Don't you send me to vm
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
