there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
