i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
