fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
