Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
