you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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