I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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