Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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