I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
