She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
