dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
