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Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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