Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
