Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
