I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
