There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize