i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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