it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
