Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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