I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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