My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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