i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize