He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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