Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize