also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
