Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
