i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
