I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
