I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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