You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize