i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
