i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
