4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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