Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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