Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
