So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
