My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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