; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
