That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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