hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
