if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
