he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
