areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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