Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Vodka?
Forever.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize