got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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