I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
