and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
