i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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