Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
