We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
