god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
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