Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
