That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Do vagina's smell?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
