I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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