i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
