Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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