I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
