do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
