winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
