went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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