Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize