Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize