Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
