Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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