you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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