I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize