Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
