Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
