we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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